Welcome to GORIED TREASURES, a Bearded Gentlemen Music column devoted to fright flicks of yesteryears! Specifically, retrospectives of cult favorites, lesser-knowns, and other horror films that have flown under the radar. Sometimes I’ll gush over my pick, and other times I’ll sound like I’m being way harsh, Tai. Either way, let’s talk about scary movies!
For anyone out there who happens to have a spirit board on hand, here’s a question to ask the great beyond — “Have I been saying the word ‘Ouija’ right?” Ghosts don’t care about phonetics, but fans of these Hasbro relics from days of childhood sleepovers should know that saying we-juh is perfectly acceptable. The long-established belief that the trademarked name “Ouija” is a combination of the French and German words for “yes” — oui and ja respectively — is a marketing gimmick conceived by the father of Ouija, William Fuld. So if you ever come across someone who sincerely says we-yah, just understand their heart’s in the right place.
WITCHBOARD (1986)
“When you open the door to the unknown, there’s no telling who will drop in… or who will drop dead.”
By citing the aforesaid, erroneous etymology, resident Ouija expert Brandon in Witchboard makes a slight faux pas as he educates partygoers about the game. He earns some points back by insisting the name is we-juh, though. In this 1986 possession flick, couple Jim (Todd Allen) and Linda (Tawny Kitaen) are having a little shindig in their apartment, and one of their guests — Linda’s preppy ex turned friend Brandon (Stephen Nichols) — entertains everyone with his handy talking board.
It seems like a gag to everyone else, but Brandon is completely serious as he states the rules of Ouija. For instance, wielders should be drug and alcohol-free when channeling the spirits. Also, ghosts become attached to specific boards for a number of reasons, E.g., they died at the time an Ouija was created. And the spirit clinging to Brandon’s board is a boy named David, who passed away at ten-years-old. Something important to remember: ghosts apparently lie a lot. So Ouija wielders have to keep these facts straight if they want to make sure they’re talking to the proper spirit.
As the story progresses, Brandon and Jim’s entangled history unfolds through a series of snipes and digs. Brandon especially hits low with some calculated insults regarding Jim’s past. There appears to be more going on than just two guys fighting over the same woman. Meanwhile, Linda talks to David through Brandon’s Ouija by herself. Bad idea. Brandon learns of Linda’s solo séances, and he tries to convince Jim that she’s becoming possessed by David. His concerns are met with derision at first, but the evidence is undeniable. It’s now up to Jim and his unlikely sidekick to sever the link. Or else, Linda will become another victim to the evil spirit board.
Witchboard balances drama and horror effectively.
Kevin S. Tenney’s debut film Witchboard is often overlooked in favor of his followup horror Night of the Demons. The movie has a certain allure to it that keeps it in remembrance after all these years, though. It sits comfortably with other films boasting jump scares and slasher tropes, and a lot of the acting is hammy if not hammy enough. A notable complaint about the movie, however, is that it lacks Night of the Demons‘ likable silliness. Yet that might be exactly why so many people still gravitate to the film. It teeters carefully between straight and cheesy so much that it may not leave a lasting impression on anyone who’s seeking one or the other when watching Witchboard.
All things considered, it’s refreshing to see such an emotional male-male friendship in a movie.
Of everything that happens in the movie, one aspect that people continue to pick up on is the indisputably powerful friendship between Jim and Brandon. The eighties was a time for great and imaginative horror movies. Nonetheless, even the fan-favorites had limited character depth. Tenney goes against expectations and paints the men’s relationship with texture. In what was a bit of a shock to audiences is the revelation that Jim and Brandon were once close friends. We as viewers aren’t privy to this information until it becomes pertinent to the story at hand.
A foreshadowing conversation between Linda and Brandon — they speak of how Jim is incapable of love, and how he couldn’t even cry when his father passed away — only further demonstrates how important the theme of friendship is in Witchboard. The most memorable, non-scary scene in the film is a callback to that conversation. It’s equally poignant and devastating. The moment speaks to adults who have ever let a friend go with not so much as a shrug. This particular event borders on mawkish, but it’s effective enough.
Jim and Brandon’s relationship possesses curious subtext.
Many people read Jim and Brandon’s relationship as blatantly homoerotic. So much cathartic emotion is poured into these queer embodiers’ precarious connection that it begs to wonder: is our wishful thinking really just an astute observation? All the same, when you have two reasonably good-looking guys trading quips back and forth like schoolyard bullies harboring mutual crushes, you can’t blame someone for wanting to push their heads together while whispering, “Now kiss already.”
TL;DR
The magic of Witchboard isn’t unique to youthful slumber parties or incidental late-night cable viewings. In adulthood, the film still has ample appeal. B-movie lovers may not get the schlock they envision as the story tows the line between conventional horror and melodrama. Notwithstanding, there’s more than enough here to whet the appetite of anyone eager for both accessible frights and substantial characterization. And best of all, the movie is fun. Tawny Kitaen is a delight as both the damsel and the demon, and Todd Allen and Stephen Bishop exude chemistry. Kevin S. Tenney’s freshness as a director at the time fills his first movie with startling energy. If you had to ask your Ouija if Witchboard is worth seeking out, be rest assured your planchette will land on YES.
Stay tuned for more GORIED TREASURES.