What a fantastic/terrible year it has been!
We have probably all spent too much time stressing about politics and Drumpf, and not enough time just enjoying art and music. Well, this rant list will not help you with that! It may even stress you out more.
Like you even need a list! This year there was so much skunk crap music released, that you could go to Billboard headquarters with a whole elite poop-scoop team, and it would take you over six decades to clean all that s#!t up!
There really is no other way to put it. Between “6ix9ine” and anything that came from the dreadfully adolescent mind of Shawn Mendes, we got a lot of trash dumped into our eardrums. I would like to apologize to humanity on behalf of the twits that actually lose all of their integrity, dignity, and credibility to give this so called music a place in this world.
There was actually a lot of really good music that came out too, which is what B.G.M. covers mostly. But, in the name of worthless tradition, here is 2018’s list of garbage that will pollute and rot your brain! You are welcome, and you are also not welcome (to actually listen to any of this noise pollution!).
Now, in no particular order…here is your top 10 2018 pile of vomit…
The Top 10 Most Annoying Songs of 2018
1. SHAWN MENDES (aka worst singer ever in history) – “LOST IN JAPAN”
All I can say is that I wish Mendes was actually lost in Japan. Not like kidnapped by a rabid gang or anything; just lost. Wondering alone, sick, tired, and sad. Lost. Like his empty and cold music. Lost without a sense of direction or worth. Maybe then he would quit music? God willing, but it’s too late for that. He has sold his soul to the ever elusive pop machine that will inevitably turn him into a wailing psychopath; like the dude who stole his GF and then married her!
2. 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER – “YOUNGBLOOD”
I had thought this band was once a stupid pop-punk band trying to cash in on what was left of whatever Blink-182 did in the early 2000’s? Now they are a full blown pop/EDM/teen pop band that sounds like Madonna had a son with a guy from the Blue Man Group and that son realized that making his music sound like every other song on top 40 radio is a sure-fire recipe for success. Unfortunately for humanity, 99% of people listen to top 40 radio, and therefore suffer the long term effects of having a terrible taste in music.
More like 5 Seconds of SUCK!
3. CARDI B – “I LIKE IT”
I do not like it. Millions of people do, but I enjoy being in the minority. This song has no originality at all. Not that Nicki Minaj is original, but Cardi B sure knows how to rip her off. I couldn’t tell the difference between them if I tried; but I wouldn’t because I can’t take it. I can’t take the senseless rhythms and the lyrics about everything on this earth that has no substance or value.
If this is the future of hip-hop, the only decent thing it might produce is less street gangsters. Hopefully. We obviously have Kanye to thank for that.
4. POST MALONE – “PSYCHO”
Some dudes have beards. Some dudes have tattoos in place of beards. Anyways, not that there is anything particularly wrong with Post Malone -other than his rap name, his music, and his teeth – this song is not good, not cool, not fresh, and not not annoying.
This new wave of hip hop (that makes it easier and easier to compile these lists) just gets more pathetic with each passing year. I am pretty sure that 2Pac and Biggie are rolling in their graves.
Post Malone, please stop this attempt at hip hop and make a country album. Not that it would be any better, but apparently less people listen to country, and modern country is basically really bad pop music. Win-win.
Oh, one more thing: Your nonsensical and phonetically incorrect lyrics would be way funnier if sung with a country twang! Kinda like a mix of Tenacious D and a really drunk Blake Shelton. I would ADD that on Apple Music!
5. 6ix9ine (feat. NICKI MINAJ) – “FEFE”
6ix9ine, at first glance, looks like he belongs in a padded room with nothing but some rubber spoons to eat his pudding. He does not look like a nice, stable young man. It appears that he just wants to murder, have meaningless sex, eat colorful food and wear clothes that are very loud.
Honestly, that is a very weird mix. Not to mention, his rapping sounds like a drunk talking skunk is getting eaten very slowly by an extremely old, deaf and toothless chimpanzee.
Then when you add Minaj to the mix, you get extra piles of garbage and STDs, and the whole conundrum is one vast ocean of utter senseless voids of useless noises that will probably one day be used to torture POWS that Drumpf holds in captivity in the near future. Yes, yes. It is that potent with toxicity, but unfortunately we just don’t care. The desensitivity of millennials will continue to buy into this stuff, and the hopelessness for our future can solely be blamed on rappers such as 6ix9ine and Minaj.
6. NO ROME feat. THE 1975 – “NARCISSIST”
Another two for one deal! I was at first going to do just The 1975, but then I came across this despicable piece of audio wretchedness! What a find! Wow! Now I wanna sew my ears shut!
I had never heard No Rome before today, and now my life just became way more depressing and pathetic because of it. Having to live in the same world as The 1975 was hard enough. Add No Rome to it all, and I am off to the shrink.
This song made me think of when I first saw the movie PINK FLOYD: The Wall; because I do not inject heroin into my veins, that movie made absolutely no sense. You get my point. Moving on.
7. EMINEM – “FALL”
Eminem is fallen and dead. He still raps, but he is dead. Lost the IT factor. His newest album is an attempt at another revival, but it succumbs to fall into the pit of unoriginal hip hop and inescapable comparisons to what has already been done. Plus it just sucks! This is what makes it so annoying and so passe. He spits his words with such aggression and integrity, but there is no one left who listens to Eminem who has any integrity of their own.
Hence, why they still listen to Eminem.
He may have something to say; but it is not 2002 anymore. Drumpf has sharted his cloud of hate and bigotry upon the world and music suffers the inevitable fallout and taints the once superstars into forever obscurity. #blametrump
8. TWENTY ONE PILOTS – “CHLORINE”
………….i cant……too painful……………………………… link ………..
9. ARIANA GRANDE – “THANK U, NEXT”
I was trying to avoid putting Grande in this list again, but that is impossible. She keeps making sounds that resemble this thing we call pop music, but the ‘finished’ product is comparable to if Jane Lynch took a few oxies, washed them down with everclear and sang karaoke to “Barbie Girl.”
Yeah, it is that bad, and even if you like it because of the beat; you are wrong. That is just the way it is.
Also, with this video, she ruined Christmas and that is a totally unforgivable sin.
10. XXXTENTACION & LIL PUMP ft. MALUMA & SWAE LEE – “ARMS AROUND YOU”
Gucci, hustle, strip, hold, mmmaaaaww, exotic car, cash, love, sorcery, alcoholic, indecipherable lyrics, and lots of other half spoken/sung and lazily vocalized utterances that will make humanity less intelligent and more polluted then ever before.
Do not be fooled by that ambient vibe and the smooth delivery of those sounds that come from the mouth. If this is art – or even a musical song – then I am king of the world.
Do yourself a favor and please search out music that will add something to your life and not suck the life out of you. Music is more than cool beats and flashy music videos. It should be about substance. When music lacks substance and replaces it with useless lyrics set to a catchy beat, we then have garbage. And for what?
Also what is up with rappers giving themselves names no one can pronounce? Oh, I guess it is maybe because they try and vocalize lyrics that are completely useless to those of us who speak English. I don’t know and don’t care.
There it is. The Top Ten Most Annoying Songs of 2018 that will kill you faster than cancer ever could.
Have fun with your life and you do you. I am sorry if you includes any of these songs or ones that are similar to them. They all suck, and if you like them, you may want to re-evaluate your entire existence.
Stay positive though. There may be light at the end of your musical journey tunnel. Probably not, but at B.G.M., we like to be optimistic! Have a great day!
This Canadian grew up in the great state of Montana, so naturally punk and hardcore music served as a proper soundtrack to his early life. Now living in the arctic tundra he enjoys vinyl collecting, bearding, Canadian brew and long walks on the beach he makes up in his mind.