Here we go again, all you radio junkies! It’s that time of year again, to pointlessly make fun of this year’s most painful tunes. Are your ears ready? No way they could be.
Also, annoying is almost too nice of a word to use here, but we will keep up with tradition, because using “unoriginal” “redundant” or “forgetful” would offend too many people. At least, people who have no creativity when choosing what to listen to.
Here they are in no particular order, because as we learned from last year’s list, you CANNOT order vomit!
The 10 Most Annoying Songs of 2015
#10 – The Weeknd – “Can’t Feel My Face”
I am not 100% sure if it is because his voice sounds like the Biebs, or if it is the whole song in general, but this thing is an over-hyped train wreck! Of course, there are the catchy beats and melodies to ensure it gets ample radio airplay, but once it is pumped into your ears more than once… well, that is all one should be able to take. The guy has talent, but so did Mel Gibson and we all saw Get The Gringo right?
Right. Anyways, if I hear this one more time, I literally won’t be able to feel my face because I will be punching it until complete numbness ensues!
Maybe if he tried an afro…?
#9 – Shawn Mendes – “Stitches”
I honestly have no idea who Shawn Mendes is, but as soon as I heard this song I thought, “Oh great! I am sure I will be hearing this in every shopping mall, restaurant bathroom, and every waiting room!” And I was right, unfortunately.
If he plays this song live in Detroit or, he may really need stitches. Is he from Detroit?
No idea who the guy is…
#8 – Justin Bieber – “What Do You Mean”
This obviously would not be a pure list if 2015’s most annoying artist was not on it. So, here it is at number 8!
The name and the songs, and the hair, say it all… And seriously Justin, what do you mean??
All this whining and crying on camera? Too bad I only have 10 slots, because Bieber’s stuff could easily fill 90% of this list!
#7 – One Direction – “Drag Me Down”
It’s happy, catchy, and fun. It might get you to tap your toes, or even bust a move, but… it is One Direction. Therefore, even though the masses will accept it being shoved down their throats, it is still wrong. Very wrong. And you would be wrong for torturing yourself by watching this music video. But go ahead and suffer. Your choice. I mean, they are pretending to be astronauts!!!
#6 – Breaking Benjamin – “Angels Fall”
Yep. They’re back. Or did they ever leave? I didn’t pay attention. Anyways, if you wanna make some sort of comeback, don’t you think it would be smart to write a song a whole lot better than this crap? This sounds like every other new hit single on your local Rock 106 station. Repetitive, lacking soul, and as boring as a rerun of the worst show ever! …and who is Benjamin and why is he breaking?
#5 – Drake – “Hotline Bling”
Ummm…ok…? What is this song about? Girls with big booties that used to call Drake on his cell phone? As if they would call him on his landline?! And I am not sure if that is dancing or working up to a slow conniption because he is locked inside a retro box from the movie Tron? You be the judge, but you would be wasting 5 minutes that you can never get back!
#4 – Macklemore – “Downtown”
People love hip hop because of the stories that are told in the lyrics, and the smooth dynamic ways in which they are delivered. Plus, it gets your groove on. But, when hip hop turns into a modern Gene Kelly trip with awkwardly placed foul language and a wit all too corny, you end up with this fiasco.
Macklemore plays to the hipster college aged crowd all too well with his own twist on hip hop, and that may also be the reason that many just cannot stand his music. Stick to the thrift store scene over on the east side Mack!
#3 – Panic! At The Disco – “LA Devotee”
This one is hot off the billboard press as a top single!!! Or something like that. I am adding this one to the list because throughout the years we have enjoyed a lot of music that has that electro- infused rock sound, and to see it being constantly recycled and released is just getting old. I realize new energy and new vision can be given to sterile music, but when can we see some originality? This band may have energy and be all cool and hip, but this over-used style of music needs to get a Brandon Flowers makeover.
#2 – Skrillex and Diplo – “Where Are Ü Now” with Justin Bieber
This electronic music trend that we are sunk in right now is growing bigger by the song. I would think that this stagnant and lifeless offering would slow that growth way down, but probably not. It has all the elements to do so, but the annoying part is that it’s futile popularity will propel it even further into whatever it is that it goes into… … the sewer? I don’t know.
Or, maybe it is just the Biebs adding to it all? Yeah, that’s it. Please pass the knives and hot sauce.
#1 – Ellie Goulding – “Love Me Like You Do”
As we all wait around for the next female pop star to pull a Britney Spears on us, we have these types of amazingly bad and over emotionalized songs to listen to! All wrapped up in nice coats and 18 layers of make up. Enjoy people! Enjoy. Because, trust me, there is NOTHING better than crap like this in the music world! Nothing at all! (said the chronic liar with good taste)
So, Nickelback didn’t release anything new this year, or their entire album would have taken up this whole list! By the way, they didn’t make last year’s list because then no one would have read it due to the fact that their name disgraces all of music.
Hope you enjoyed this super fun waste of your time, reading about terrible songs! Now, go listen to something better! While you are at it, throw your AM/FM radios into a huge lake of boiling acid where all these songs will someday end up as well! See ya next year!