Obelisk Crashing Down
Let’s let climate change do its thing. The sooner, the better. Beneath my house is a series of tunnels and chambers rivaling the capacity of any major city in the world. If that sounds rad, that’s because it is.
Joke
The Truth About The Moon Landing, But Also An Embarrassing Secret About The Weird Author Of This Article, Who Is Also Ugly
Astronauts never went to the moon, but NASA didn't fake the moon landing on Earth either. The dumb author of this article explains what really happened but also lets loose a very embarrassing secret about himself.
Sunspotting
The sun keeps speeding toward us and even the spiders don't know what to do. Maybe the time phone can help.
One. Thirteen. Seventeen.
In a shocking turn of events, I have been poisoned. My body is teeming with large quantities of psilocybin and cathinone, which are schedule 1 drugs known for their psychedelic effects.
Stranger Things Is Too Weird For My Taste, Sorry
At least they got the title right because everything in this show is stranger than the last. I don’t even know where to start!
Reflections In Water and Glass: A Stunning New Direction
Humans aren’t great. Our universe kind of sucks. Discover the way out.
Like Spinning Tops
For tops enthusiasts, Inception was the best hope for mainstream popularity. So what went wrong?
I’m A Member At The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, And I’m Going To Date Your Girlfriend
"Have fun sleeping at night knowing I’m a member and you’re fucking not."
I Know I’m Exactly Like Bran, But Please Do Not Vote For Me In The 2020 Presidential Election: I Do Not Want To Be President
I Do Not Want To Be President. I like threesomes with twins. Is that a crime? Do not vote for me in the 2020 Presidential Election.
Inadvertently Ending the Universe: A Surprisingly Mixed Bag
The excitement of time travel only proved to dampen the sensations associated with the end of the universe. I do not recommend it.