Like Spinning Tops
For tops enthusiasts, Inception was the best hope for mainstream popularity. So what went wrong?
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I’m A Member At The Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, And I’m Going To Date Your Girlfriend
"Have fun sleeping at night knowing I’m a member and you’re fucking not."
I Know I’m Exactly Like Bran, But Please Do Not Vote For Me In The 2020 Presidential Election: I Do Not Want To Be President
I Do Not Want To Be President. I like threesomes with twins. Is that a crime? Do not vote for me in the 2020 Presidential Election.
Inadvertently Ending the Universe: A Surprisingly Mixed Bag
The excitement of time travel only proved to dampen the sensations associated with the end of the universe. I do not recommend it.
Hi, This Is The Home Security Solution You Never Knew You Needed
Human Bag of Gore Security – we’ve got you covered! Hi, let me tell you how my product works. Don't let murder man chop you up in your house with his ax.
The Game Missing from E3
Fuck E3. I wasn’t planning on coming in this hot, but seriously, fuck E3. Every year, I hope to see an announcement for one game, The Game.
On The Other Hand
A story of pirate porn, divorce, betrayal, self-mutilation, the Special Olympics, penis removal, lies, deceit, and sports.
I Should Be the Next James Bond in the Next James Bond Movie
With all the speculation regarding who will be the next actor to play James Bond, few outlets have focused on who should be the next James Bond.
Stacked Against “Stacks”: The Part Where Stacks Gets A Lesson In Stacking Up Jokes In “Stacks” To Stack Up To The Competition
“Stacks”, the Titus Andronicus sitcom is not good, but it could be good if only they would take the suggestions of someone who truly cares about "Stacks".
Stacked Against “Stacks”: The Part Where I Review “Stacks”, A Sitcom Pilot By Stacks and Starring Stacks as Stacks
“Stacks” is not good. Let’s start there and get it out of the way before we get to...