What a better moment to watch a movie about beasts in nature than when you’re about to backpack in Europe? Just so you know, I’m not writing Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes over and over, we’ll drop the “Hunger Games” altogether.
Let’s get a couple of disclaimers out of the Arena first. I recently listened to the audiobook at 1.5 speed because those eighteen hours and a change were scary. I read the book when it came out and honestly saw it as a waste of time; Snow was just a whiny brat, missing his family’s wealth. This round, it was different, maybe the Euro trip lent it a little bit of sparkle, and I enjoyed it a lot more.
Another disclaimer biting the dust: I watched this movie while in Madrid; in Spain, they dub movies, so I watched the movie in Spanish. Mind you, there was the option to watch in English with subtitles, but that video of Miss Zegler saying “Weird. Weird” and all those other unfortunate comments dissuaded me from that choice. They still had the songs in English, though; so I heard her sing, and, honestly, she ain’t bad.
THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES IS DIVIDED IN THREE PARTS, JUST LIKE ITS BOOK, CREATING A MENTAL DISTRACTION FOR THE ALMOST THREE HOURS OF RUNTIME, AND PERHAPS THE TRICK WORKS.
Now, we gonna tackle this thing from both ends. Hmm. Not sure if I like how that sounded. Doesn’t matter. We’re about to review The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes as a movie but also as an adaptation. Spoilers ahead. You have been warned.
THE MOVIE
Two kids, a boy and a slightly older girl ran amid debris and the sounds of bombs. They are looking for food through the devastation. An apparently feral dog tries to attack them, but the girl smacks the beast with a trash can. They flee, taking refuge behind a statue– where they see a man chopping a leg from a dead body. Yup. Some citizens of the Capitol have resorted to cannibalism.
We learn these two aren’t siblings but cousins as the boys are informed upon arriving home that his father’s dead. But it’s not the officers present who tell him this. The grandmother provides the information, each word laced with vitriol against the Rebels. District 12 is mentioned, and she gives him the dead man’s compass. Yeah, I’m patting myself on the back for that one. Cue break for the first part: The Mentor.
A young man sits in nothing but his underwear because this ain’t a Disney superhero movie; Lions Gate knows what people want. The man opens the compass we saw in the previous scene to let us know who he is. Then he showers because why the fukk no?
There’s a bit about a missing shirt and the grandmother singing off-key. The cousin comes in with the shirt miraculously mended, and we’re treated to the tale to accomplish it. All this, so we understand these folks are in dire straits; not only financially but also emotionally. Coriolanus Snow (Tom Blyth) gives us a brief but charged info dump.
WE WILL GET MANY EXPOSITIONAL DUMPS WATCHING THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES. SOME WILL BE EFFECTIVE– OTHERS WON’T, BUT THAT WILL NEVER DETER THE WRITERS FROM INFLICTING THEM UPON US.
Snow walks to the Capitol’s Academy, where the crème the la crème learns to be even creamier. The Plinth Prize (info dumped a scene ago) surfaces again when the Plinth family shows up. The Capitol-born students don’t care much for the newly rich District 2 transplants, even mocking the mother’s fashion choices; regardless, these entitled a-holes aren’t hesitant about taking the money prize from the filthy hands of the Rebel-born.
Since every film needs conflict to thrive, the Plinth Prize won’t be awarded on academic achievement; the creators of The Hunger Games have decided the top 24 students should become mentors for the year’s Tributes. Viola Davis chews the scenery as deranged Doctor Gaul: mad scientist and Head of the HG. Peter Dinklage is also there; he’s the dean. Whatever.
For convoluted reasons that feel way too close to reality from the Dinklage, Snow ends up with District 12’s girl. The Mayor calls Lucy Gray Baird (Rachel Zegler) as Tribute. She approaches the stage slowly, almost hesitantly. At the last second, she dumps a snake into another girl’s shirt: the Mayor’s daughter.
That commotion is brought to its climax with the Mayor slaps Baird on stage; this in turn unleashes the first song of the film. Those at the Academy are watching the whole shebang live; by the end of the song, many who thought Baird a loony are swayed by her voice.
SNOW COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT THIS CRAY-CRAY TRIBUTE, BUT NOW HIS FUTURE IS IN THE HANDS OF A REBEL DESTINED TO DIE IN THE ARENA. HE NEEDS HER TO GIVE A GOOD SHOW. THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES BLUDGEONS US WITH THIS INFORMATION UNTIL THEY MEET AND MAKE GOOGLY EYES AT EACH OTHER.
Snow follows his girl to the Zoo where Tributes reside until the Games, ending up in the same cage. This puts him in danger, but soldiers get him out. Brimming with schadenfreude, Dinklage gives Snow’s demerits and tries to remove the students from the mentoring gig. Snow can’t have any of that, though– boy needs the moola. With a passionate speech, he sways Dr. Gaul to his side, and she charges him with putting those thoughts to paper. A classmate, thinking she can ride Snow’s coattails, says they always do their papers together. Gaul is like, “Sure, girl. Go for it.”
Tributes don’t get food because these are the Hunger Games, not Fatten ‘Em Rebels Extravaganza. Sejanus Plinth (Josh Andrés Rivera) catches Snow saving food for Baird. Our District 2-born and filthy rich boy is clingy as fook and mistakenly thinks Snow likes him. He goes with Snow to the Zoo, bringing food for his own Tribute.
Interestingly, Sejanus’s guy used to be his classmate back in D2. But this ain’t them pesky Fates; no– Sejanus’s father made the boy a Tribute to give his son a lesson. Almost like with Baird’s election, but the reasons for that one will be clearer later.
THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES BRINGS CONSTANT PARALLELS AND BOTH SIDES OF THE COIN REGARDING PEOPLE AND THEIR ISSUES WITHOUT CARING IF THESE ARE SELF-INFLICTED OR OUT OF THE CHARACTERS’ CONTROL.
Because imitation is the cheapest form of flattery, other Mentors also flock to feed their charges. One (more insufferable than the others) classmate keeps teasing her Tribute instead of actually giving the food. Fed up with that bullshit, the Tribute girl grabs her from between the cage bars and slits her throat. Soldiers open fire on her ass, she dies instantly, and the Mentors are removed from the premises.
Worrying for his future, Snow writes his essay until it is so late it becomes early; with zero sleep, he leaves the paper for Gaul in her building before going to the Academy. The tributes are rounded up to strategize with their Mentors; find ways to engage the public despite the shit show at the Zoo.
After school, Gaul summons Snow and his paper partner to discuss their ideas. What happens next involves foreshadowing, snakes, and Gaul being extra. Good stuff, indeed.
AS A PREQUEL, THE FILM DEALS WITH PANEM’S TYRANT ORIGIN STORY. WHENEVER VIOLA DAVIS IS PRESENT, I WISH THE STORY WAS ABOUT HER. SHE’S MALEFICENT; SHE’S THE EVIL STEPMOTHER; SHE’S URSULA WITH TENTACLES IN FULL FORCE.
For no logical or thematic reason, Mentors and Tributes go to the Arena surrounded by soldiers. According to infodumps, this place is abandoned and only used for the Games. I’ve been calling the place “Arena,” but it’s nowhere near the size of the Roman Colosseum or even a current soccer stadium. It’s more like a concrete circus tent with enough space for the three rings.
Ah, but the real reason to be there’s so the Rebels could bomb the shit out of it; thus, getting more Tributes and Mentors out of the way. Also, for more convoluted stuff to happen later. I see you, Susan Collins and lazy scriptwriters. Something falls on Snow during the bombing, and Baird rescues him instead of escaping. Now he’s in lurve. A girl (from D12 of all places) saved his entitled ass.
A throwaway line implies the Rebels informed the public they bombed the Arena to destroy the symbol of their oppressors. The Capitol’s response is to continue as if nothing happened; they still broadcast the remaining Tributes performing that night. Somehow Baird gets a guitar and sings a song about another guy, and wee little Snow ain’t happy about it.
Now remember, Snow’s heart isn’t the important thing here but his future; thus, our protagonist goes to the bombed Arena on a recognizance mission to turn the odds in his favor. Well, technically in Baird’s favor, but you get the gist.
SNOW SNEAKING INTO THE ARENA IS A PLOT HOLE SO MASSIVE IT MIGHT AS WELL BE A CRATER ON THE MOON. JUST THINK FOR A MINUTE. THE CAPITOL KNOWS THE REBELS WANT TO RAZE THE SITE, AND YET THE AREA ISN’T CRAWLING UP THE WAZOO WITH SOLDIERS. COME ON NOW, BE SERIOUS.
Let’s go to the effing Games. Part 2 begins with Snow limping into the makeshift Hunger Games Broadcast Center created at the Academy. The idea here is to showcase the Mentors and the new technology in place to deliver stuff to the Tributes; something never done before and based on donations. Coincidentally, these innovations include a host. Adorable, Jason Schwartzman plays Lucretius “Lucky” Flickerman– in one of the many unnecessary throwbacks to the original trilogy. Unfortunately, the people in charge of the Spanish version decided to change Lucky for Loco. Talk about lost in translation. Geesh.
Whatever number of Tributes still standing is herded to the Arena. Because Baird is a lover, not a fighter, Snow has put stuff in place to help her along the way; if the gamble pays off, more than one future will be secured.
The countdown comes to one. Thanks to lots of telling and little showing, Baird decides to call for her fellow D12 tribute instead of running. I get the director and writers wanted to amp up this moment to let us know she’s in danger. Still, it was stupid. Had this not been a movie, she would’ve died two minutes into the Games. Plot armor saves her. She finds the other guy, and both run to hide away.
A GROUP OF TRIBUTES BECOMES A PACK BECAUSE THAT HAPPENED IN THE FIRST MOVIE AND BECAUSE BAIRD IS THE PROTAGONIST THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH GETTING HER. OF ALL THE UNNECESSARY THROWBACKS POPULATING THE FILM, I THINK THIS IS THE WORST.
Sejanus Plinth decides to sneak into the Arena to give his former classmate the last rites. Gaul sends Snow to bring him back before he’s discovered by bloodthirsty Tributes. On their way out, Snow bludgeons a Tribute to death to save effing Sejanus, but we know better; he is saving himself.
Gaul takes Snow to her lab to patch him up. They have a very interesting conversation about the realities of human nature; the things we’re capable of doing when no one is watching to save ourselves. The scene changes to Snow’s cousin worrying on an eviction note… Perhaps to imply the things we might need to do when no one watches… Hunger always gets you.
The Games continue, and the current president’s son, one of the Mentors injured during the Arena bombing, dies. In retaliation, Dr. Gaul floods the place with rainbow snakes as per my previous foreshadowing email. One Tribute, touted like a mad killer since all were introduced, dies like byotch– engulfed by the slithering creatures.
All other Tributes also perish, except Baird. She sings, the snakes slithering and entwining about her. Not gonna lie, this moment brought tears to my eyes. She doesn’t know Snow did something to keep the crawlies from attacking her, and so she sings ready for it to be her last performance on Earth. This moment is so fucking epic, I can hear other people sobbing in the theater. Those at the Academy are tearing up too, and demand for Baird to be declared winner and rescued. Gaul caves.
ALL THE SHIT THAT SNOW PUT IN PLACE TO MAKE BAIRD WIN BLOWS UP IN HIS FACE, AND PART THREE STARTS WITH HIM BANISHED TO THE DISTRICTS AS A SOLDIER. THIS IS THE WEAKEST PART BECAUSE IT FEELS RUSHED AND DISJOINTED.
THE ADAPTATION
The transmutation of a concept from book to film is rarely easy. Both media have their own virtues and defects. All the explaining and detailing in a book needs a brilliant mind to condense it for cinema. One hundred personas will certainly be reduced to perhaps ten if not less; many events will disappear to elevate others.
Michael Lesslie writer of Assassin’s Creed (2016) and Michael Arndt who begot The Force Awakens (2105) created the script. That did not fill me with confidence. Remember, I didn’t rave about the book on the first pass; thus, these two didn’t seem like the best men to make it sparkle.
The thing with prequels is the re-writing of known facts. When a book/film starts doing throwbacks is a tacit implication that characters were unoriginal. What people did in the future was an imitation of something done before; thus, tarnishing their legacy.
If you have read the book, you unconsciously fill blanks in the film; and that dear reader is effing cheating. I mentioned plot holes and unnecessary throwbacks, but the worst crime of an adaptation is forcing people to do homework.
Many things from a book cannot be recreated in film because each reader builds those things differently. Still, while not a fan of many aesthetic choices, I’m just gonna gripe about one. In the book, Snow’s blond curls were mentioned with pride at nauseam; the film gives us badly bleached frizzy hair. Shirtless shots do not compensate for a bad hairdo.
KEY SECONDARY CHARACTERS WERE ELIMINATED IN FAVOR OF NOTHING. THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES TRIES TO GO BEAT BY BEAT WITH THE SOURCE MATERIAL AND FAILS TO EMBRACE THE PEOPLE WHO COULD HAVE MADE IT BETTER.
I can understand not using actual teenage actors, but we don’t need to see grown-ass people acting like bratty children because Hollywood thinks “school” means catty bitchiness. Every time we interact with Snow’s classmates is like watching the worst version of a CW show.
Snow and Sejanus are actually the best part of the Not Viola Davis Show. Snow: a man ready to do anything for his family, even if everything’s always about him in the end. Sejanus: conflicted by his status and going against it in the most pathetic ways possible.
You already know I watched this in Spanish to avoid Ziegler’s dulcet tones. I know I watched West Side Story (2021), but whatever she did there’s a big blank in my memory. Here, she’s pretty decent, as long as she’s not making faces or trying to act tough for no logical reason. If those weird things are on her, I blame the director for not having the cojones to go against said choices. If they were the director, he should know better. And I can see a lot of memes coming out of the Mayor slapping Ziegler. Time will tell.
Yes, the source material is 500+ pages; that doesn’t mean you need to make a 158 mins movie. Still, I didn’t feel the long runtime. Plot holes, mismanaged story bits, and shenanigans aside, I was entertained. Perhaps my expectations going in were so low– a C+ effort was enough to consider the almost 11 euros admission well-spent. (And still cheaper than my local theater.)
BLYTH AND ZEGLER ARE FINE AS A COUPLE BECAUSE THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES DOESN’T KEEP THEM TOGETHER FOR LONG; THUS, AVOIDING THE LEVELS OF CRINGE MOST YA STORIES REACH AT THE ZENITH OF ITS INFLUENCE AROUND THE WORLD.
I’m giving two ratings here. 8/10 as a movie. 6/10 as an adaptation. Now off to Maspalomas. Cheers.
This Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes is in theaters now.
