Can you see the forest for the trees? Is the whole more than the sum of its parts? If you’ve ever pondered questions such as these, you may not have realized that you’re practicing a bit of Gestalt psychology. In this overdue edition of Lyrics Shrink, we will put Metric’s “Breathing Underwater” onto the comfy couch for analysis.
I want to understand my life. Am I just playing out the patterns that I have observed during my lifetime—school, job, wife, kids, retirement, and death? Or is there a greater significance to my existence? These questions aren’t easily answered, but we often ask them so that we can try to understand ourselves and others. You might do a little self-analysis by breaking things down into parts until you find the one core truth that makes life meaningful. But if you do that, you truly won’t see the forest for the trees. Or put more simply, you’ll miss out on a lot.
Consider the following opening verse and chorus from “Breathing Underwater” where Emily Haines of Metric paints a vivid picture of a moment in life.
I’m the blade
You’re the knife
I’m the weight
You’re the kite
They were right when they said
We were breathing underwater
Out of place, all the time
In a world that wasn’t mine to take
I’ll wait.
Putting my Gestalt Lenses on to look for the meaning at the moment, I understand Emily to feel a deep connection to someone.
A connection so profound, that she likens it to the connection of two parts of the same object (blade and knife). There’s a competing feeling at play in the next two lines indicating an outside force (weight) that doesn’t approve of the relationship (kite). The two people in the relationship are trying to do the impossible, someone tells her (breathing underwater). I’m betting it’s a parent saying they’re too young. So she heeds the parental advice and waits. But what of this relationship? Feeling so much a part of something greater than yourself—like you can actually breathe underwater—is powerful. Who is going to give that feeling up?
If you were on the therapy couch of Fritz Perls, originator of Gestalt Therapy, the significance of that feeling is what’s most important.
He believed that perception is influenced by our emotional experiences. If you felt a bond as strong as a blade to a knife, then the reality of the words being uttered by those outside of the relationship will likely have little bearing on your actions. Maybe you can do the impossible when you’re with that certain someone or at least feel like it. As a Gestalt therapist, I would explore that feeling and the influence it has on the present. Does it influence you to achieve more, grow, and try new things, or lead to impulsiveness, risk-taking, and harmful behaviors?
The actual impact of that feeling matters more than your life’s philosophy, childhood, or past experiences. If you can see that these feelings lead to healthy behaviors, trust them. But maybe you haven’t shaken that doubt from the criticisms of others. The follow-up questions asked in the chorus are important ones to answer if we want to trust the reality of this feeling and question the opinion of a parental figure.
Is this my life?
Am I breathing underwater?
Is this my life?
Am I breathing underwater?
If the answers to these questions are yes, this is my life and nobody else’s and yes, I believe I am doing the impossible despite the doubts, then I don’t need to wait.
I can go forward trusting the feeling and the actions I’m taking based on them. If you trust the feeling and the related actions, and you have taken ownership of your life, then why do we need these authority figures? Taking personal responsibility is a primary goal of Gestalt therapy. Reactions are analyzed and reframed as owned by the individual rather than caused by others. Saying, “I felt upset when my friend didn’t call me back,” is preferable to saying, “My friend upset me when he didn’t call me back.” If I am in a relationship where I feel part of something greater than me and I’m doing things that I once thought impossible, I need not respond or react to the doubt. If I do react, then I’m the one responsible for my reaction.
But what if that reaction is powerful and I can’t shake this doubt? Talk to an empty chair. The empty chair technique is a role-play exercise in which you imagine and rehearse what you’d like to express to someone as if they were present in the empty chair. It can be cathartic and revealing to have permission to speak openly.
Here’s what Emily says to the empty chair:
They were right when they said
We should never meet our heroes
When they bow at their feet
In the end, it wasn’t me
To me, these lyrics express the dubious authority of parental figures and the hypocrisy of hero worship, because in the end we all compromise. Therefore, despite your best intentions and advice, I’m going to lead my life how I want to lead it. Your life isn’t what I want for myself. This expression is freeing, as evidenced by offering answers to the repeated questions of the chorus.
Nights are days
We’ll beat a path through the mirrored maze
I can see the end, oh
But it hasn’t happened yet
I can see the end, oh
But it hasn’t happened yet
Gestalt therapy is based on a paradoxical theory of change summarized: change happens when a person becomes what they are rather than trying to become what they are not.
The revelation in the bridge of “Breathing Underwater” is a synthesis of two powerful feelings: doubt and connection. This synthesizing process is another goal in Gestalt therapy called integration. Integrating our conflicting emotions, beliefs, experiences, etc. into a whole person is what it means to be a well-adjusted person.
In “Breathing Underwater”, Metric illustrates a process of integrating powerful emotions, like those felt in a life-changing relationship while experiencing the reactions of those who express doubt or disapproval. The newer well-adjusted point of view is that so long as I’m making progress through this maze of life, I’m trusting the feeling. I can adapt as life’s twists and turns occur. I’ll keep asking myself, “Is this my life? Am I breathing underwater?” and if the answer changes, I will too.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Metric is singing about the process of becoming a whole and authentic person.
“Breathing Underwater” is from Metric’s 5th studio album Synthetica which Emily Haines has said, “is about forcing yourself to confront what you see in the mirror when you finally stand still long enough to catch a reflection. Synthetica is about being able to identify the original in a long line of reproductions. It’s about what is real vs what is artificial.”
A good Gestalt therapist will hold that mirror up for you so that you can see yourself for all that you are and not an artificial ideal. One way to discover more about yourself is through the analysis of creative works. So, I encourage you to listen to the whole album and also read my article about another Synthetica track, “Artificial Nocturne”. And if you want to learn more about Gestalt Therapy or find a therapist yourself give this article from Psychology Today a read here.
Guest Editor: Dr. Superfall