Breaking on the scene in the 1980s during the height of heavy metal (and to the dismay of conservative parents), GWAR manages to remain a household name. From legendary appearances on various talk shows, devouring Ethan Embry in Empire Records, and even an integral part of the plot in the Beavis & Butthead videogames, there isn’t much GWAR hasn’t done. Despite unleashing over 14 albums, countless music videos, and a film, GWAR’s claim to fame will always be their over-the-top live show.
With gratuitous displays of gore, gallons of blood spraying the audience, and more than enough metal to burn your local church to the ground, no other artist comes close to the blasphemous theatrics of GWAR!
With such an emphasis on showmanship, festivals clamor for the otherworldly chaos of GWAR.
Where else can you see foam latex caricatures of Caitlyn Jenner giving birth on stage or Donald Trump’s entrails ripped from his body and thrown in the audience? It’s a sight to behold and I’ve never been disappointed with the countless times I’ve seen them. As with Andrew WK and Taking Back Sunday, GWAR are unofficial mainstays at Chicago’s Riot Fest. Something about politically incorrect humor and various body fluids covering an audience just screams punk like nothing else.
After their sinfully satisfying set during Riot Fest’s metal day, I had the opportunity to catch up with bassist/vocalist Beefcake The Mighty and guitarist Balsac: The Jaws Of Death. Even though I’ve met a few members of GWAR at previous Riot Fests, I really didn’t know what to expect with an interview. Most importantly, I wondered how I was going to interview such vile characters and uphold my personal no swearing rule? I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge. I’m a Bearded Gentlemen journalist after all.
(Audio of the GWAR Interview Below.)
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Beefcake The Mighty: I really like that patch.
Oh, which one?
Beefcake: That one. points to Motorhead patch but just that one.
Well, I would totally give it to you but I don’t know how to un-sew.
Beefcake: I already have it. That’s why I like it. I don’t need another one. You can keep it with all the rest. The rest of them are stupid. points to John Davis pin Is that Jesus?
Of indie rock, yes! John Davis of The Lees of Memory.
Beefcake: Oh. fair enough. Is this your table?
Umm, it is now!
Beefcake: Alright then. Let’s plather! SHOOT THE ****!
Is there anyone currently on the Riot Fest roster, you’d like to beat up?
Balsac The Jaws Of Death: (laughs)
Beefcake: What the ****??? Probably.
Care to drop a name?
Beefcake: Nah, no really, there’s not. I mean, out of anybody I’d want to beat up…I don’t even know who’s here.
Right. I guess it’s not cool to put you on the spot anyway.
Beefcake: All I know is the band on our stage and the stage that’s next to us. AND THEY’RE ALL GREAT BLOKES!
Balsac: That’s like **** MARRY KILL out of Slayer, Rise Against, and uh… GWAR.
Beefcake: yeah. **** GWAR. I hate them. Oh wait, that’s my band. Ugh. I’m gonna stick with my original statement though. I hate them. They **** suck. Well, they suck now anyway.
In saying that, who would you wanna marry?
Beefcake: Huh?
Balsac: Ooh I know you wanna marry Rise Against. You love them. I saw you making kissy faces earlier…
Beefcake: Duurrrrrrrrr!!!! God!!!
Balsac: So does that mean you wanna **** Slayer? Like ‘**** Slayer!’? Is that what you’re saying? Hey, this guy over here is saying “**** Slayer!!”
various journalists and artists look over at us with shocked facials expressions
Beefcake: I dunno, I mean that Gary Holt guy is kinda cute! He’s a cool dude you know.
Balsac: Wait, that would mean you’d want to KILL Slayer. I got the question wrong.
Beefcake: Kill!? I’m gonna spank ‘em with my lips!
How about anybody else who isn’t here? Like maybe some pop star or something?
Beefcake: Yes.
Care to elaborate?
Beefcake: All of them. ****ing all of them. Just **** all of those mother ****ers with all their bullshit and their fucking bullshit. And their ****ing’ money, and ****ing record sales. Oh and their Awards, fancy clothes and their hot chicks… Goddammit!
Yeah. A lot of us writers at Bearded Gentlemen hate the Grammys. Would you ever perform on the Grammys?
Beefcake: Well if they offered us a lot of money or a little money. Or any kind of …Yes.
Balsac: We’ve been kicked out of the Grammys.
Beefcake: Yeah we were kicked out once, and barely invited the second time.
How did you get invited after being kicked out?
Beefcake: You know we were nominated for two Grammys.
Right!, Best Metal Performace for “S.F.W” and Best Longform Music Video for Phallus In Wonderland in 1993?
Balsac: Well, we showed up the first time then they threw us out.
Beefcake: We have lost less Grammys than Lamb Of God!
That’s quite impressive!
Beefcake: Of course, they’ve won a lot more than we have, but we have lost less than they’ve lost!
Are you saying you probably make better music than Lamb Of God?
Beefcake: Well, yeah. They taught us nothing that we know,
Where do you get all the blood for the live show?
Beefcake: Usually infants, some runaways, groupies…
Ah, groupies. Of course.
Beefcake: Flute groupies though. We get a lot of flute groupies but none of us play the flute! It’s really weird.
I’m sure if you wanted to, you could.
Beefcake: Yeah, if we had a flute, one of us could figure it out. But we don’t have a ****ing flute, *******!
Here at Bearded Gentlemen, we like to ask: in your opinion, what’s your Favorite, Overrated, and Underrated album?
Beefcake: From who?
Balsac: Like from anybody?
Beefcake: Most underrated would probably be anything from GWAR. Overrated? Anything by GWAR, and my favorite? Oh! Probably anything from GWAR!
Balsac: That’s a good answer!
Beefcake: You know who I really like? Being we’re in Chicago, ****ing Naked Raygun. That’s a good ****ing band. I like Naked Raygun. That’s all I’m gonna say about that. Send a free shirt to P.O. Box….
I just saw the dude from Naked Raygun perform a song with FEAR back in April. We wanna see Naked Raygun and GWAR perform together, and tour together.
Beefcake: Oh I’d be down for that.
Maybe we can make that happen with this article?
Beefcake: Cheap Trick. One of the most ****ing underrated bands in this country. That is a ****ing rock-solid rock n’ roll band who are still working constantly. But I still don’t think they’ve ever gotten what they ****ing deserve.
I also agree. What do you think about Danzig? Another one of my favorites.
Beefcake: I LOVE old Misfits!
Yeah, The real Misfits, not Graves-fits.
Beefcake: Yeah I mean you hear all this **** about Danzig, but I saw him one day when a Samhain show got canceled like 3 songs in. He went down to the van, opened the door, and handed everybody walking out the doors like ****ing t-shirts, records, and all kinds of swag. So I gotta give him props for that.
Would you ever record with Glenn Danzig?
Beefcake: If the money is right you know? And he knows what I’m saying. He knows the price point and how to get a hold of us!
For more info on GWAR, please visit GWAR.net
All photos by Judie Vegh of OyVegh Photography
For complete Riot Fest 2019 coverage, check out my full article HERE