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A few nights ago I thought it would be a good idea to listen to the new Muse album and live tweet my reaction to it. I was just released from the hospital a few hours ago. May I suffer so that you may never have to.

 

1. Gonna live tweet this new Muse album, because I can’t bear the pain alone.

2. BTW listened to first two songs already, all you have to know is they fucking suck.

3.“Panic Situation” : INXS? What the fuck?

4. Fourth song is some stupid interlude, so I’m skipping it.

5. “Survival”: Hmmmm yep! This is the worst song I’ve ever heard.

6. Whoa! Matt Belamy, your tight falsetto must be compensating for your loose vagina.

7. Still on “Survival”, this is actually the worst song of all time. Like what is even going on here, I’m kinda starting to freak out a bit.

8. “Follow Me”: Dude there’s no way I’m following you anywhere, I don’t even wanna be in the same realm of existence as you.

9. Wow! This literally turned into a deadmau5 song.

10. This is like Ryan Adam’s electro song.

11. “Animals”: What is this? Why did I do this?

12. Ahhhh everyone’s shouting, finally something I can relate to.

13. “Explorers”: Disney bullshit, can I just stop now enough is enough.

14. I’m calling my doctor.

15. “Big Freeze”: Oh hey look, they got U2 to do a song.

16. I have no one to blame but myself. This was my decision. Actually fuck that, this is ENTIRELY Muse’s fault.

17. “Save Me”: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyep!

18. Bellamy doesn’t appear to be singing in this song, which makes it the only bearable one so far, even if it does only have 2 notes.

19.“Liquid State”: Another Bellamy-less track. This is a Sum 41 song

20. Alright fine this song is actually kinda cool, so naturally it’s also the shortest on the album.

21. “The 2nd Law: Unsustainable”: The Muse dubstep song. Ears are pretty silly anyway, it wouldn’t be a problem if i just cut mine right off.

22. “The 2nd Law: Isolated”: blah blah blah blah blah that’s it I’m done.

23. PLZ RT THE NEW MUSE ALBUM CAUSES INFERTILITY AND IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A 200% INCREASE IN SUICIDE WORLDWIDE IN JUST THE PAST TWO DAYS PLZ RT

…Guantanamo Bay, I think you have your new soundtrack.