Torche’s third full-length Harmonicraft came out today and to celebrate I thought I would share the conversation that I had with John Bonham last night before I went to bed .
Me: Yo Bonzo! Have you heard the new Torche album yet?
John Bonham: No I’ve been meaning to listen to it, is it good?
Me: Hell yeah it’s good. Torche is probably one of the best heavy bands out right now.
JB: Agreed.
Me: If Rainbow Brite ever had a “Dirty Thirty” birthday party, she would probably hire Torche to play the party.
JB: Totally! They’re like a metal band made purely out of Skittles.
Me: Exactly!
JB: What tracks are dope?
Me: Well the whole album is pretty bad ass, but I’m really digging track two “Kicking”, track four “Reverse Inverted” is pretty intense and track ten “Kiss me Dudely” has an awesome name, so that’s great. The track that’s absolutely giving me magical dreams though is track eleven “Solitary Traveler” it reminds of “Face The Wall” of off Songs For Singles. I really dig it when they get into the super thick shoegaze type business.
JB: So basically it’s the greatest album of all time?
Me: Almost, I kinda wish they had stretched some of the songs out a bit longer and jammed them out, kinda like how they did on “Fat Waves” off of Meanderthal, but that track is basically the cat’s pajama’s and can never be recreated.
JB: Oh, I love that track! It’s almost as good as Madonna’s “Lucky Star”. I heard that a bat pee’d in their new guitarists eye. Think he made it up for publicity?
Me: No way. Bat pee is scary and not something to be toyed around with. You don’t make stories up about things that have rabies, because karma will come back around and he’ll get bit by a rabid dachshund or something like that. He knows better.
JB: At least he didn’t get the pee in his mouth.
Me: True. Yo man, are you gonna resurrect from the dead and come to their show at Urban Lounge?
JB: I don’t know if I’ll have time to resurrect, but I’ll come in ghost form and steal the drummers sticks or hide them or something.
Me: Haha, you’re bananas!
JB: When’s the show?
Me: June 15th. You better be there or I’ll hire an exorcist to drag your spirit into the drummer for Train’s body and then you’ll really be screwed.
JB: That would be bogus. Okay I gotta go, me and Patrick Swayze are going to go haunt a record store and I’m gonna grab a copy of Harmonicraft while I’m there.
Me: Peace out Bonzo!
JB: Peace yo!
That John Bonham is a good ghost and if he likes Torche so should you! The new album is awesome and this band straight up rules. Plus you gotta love a metal band that has the taters to put out an album cover with psychedelic angel goats spewing rainbows, while sailing around in a sky filled with pastel pink. So gangster!