This month, Old Academy Anew explores a coming-of-age tragedy. The Last Picture Show might have been shot at the beginning of the 1970s, but it embraces its 1950s time frame with gusto as if it were a child of the Korean War.
THE LAND THAT WASN’T
The Last Picture Show starts with a desolated Main Street in a two-story town battered by loud harsh winds. Cut to a young, curly-haired man struggling with his rusty pickup truck while a jaunty cowboy sings his heart out on the radio. We see another young man sweeping the street in a whirlpool of dust and screeching wind. Our curly hero honks, and the sweeping boy smiles, leaving his chore to jump into the pickup.
They drive several streets over to a rundown pool hall. The rough winds try to keep them out as they push the doors to get in. A solitary older man watches them enter. Curly closes the door, grabs what I assume is a pastry from a glass display, and turns the radio before grabbing a soda from a small freezer. The first words uttered in this movie are, “President Truman will be here tomorrow. So y’all folks in Dallas better turn out, yah hear.”
The old man has a fit of coughing. He moves behind the counter and takes a sip from a bottle that by its square design might be medicine. When he’s done, he turns to curly and says, “You ain’t never going to amount to nothing.”
THOSE WORDS SET THE TONE FOR THE LAST PICTURE SHOW, CERTAINLY DARKER THAN THE GRIMY BLACK AND WHITE VISUALS.
The sweeping boy sits on the edge of a pool table about to lick the chalk. The older man takes the chalk from him. Grumpily, he tells curly, “Why don’t you comb your hair, Sonny. It sticks out like it’s smelling wolf.” Two things here. First, between the southern drawl and the mumbling that is what I heard because the close captioning gave like five of those fourteen words. Second, when he says Sonny, it might be in the same way one says son and adds a Y to make it an endearment. Later on, we learn that curly’s name is actually Sonny Crawford (Tim Buttons).
Grumpy is surprised that Sonny showed up around after the beating his High School team got the previous night at the game. Sonny answers, his mouth full of pastry, “I could have been worse.”
“Yeah. You can say that about nearly everything. I guess,” Grumpy wisely agrees. Then they joke about “tackling.” Apparently, that football team is not good at it because it will come up several times from various individuals as Sonny moves around town.
A car noisily stops outside. A handsome miner braves the winds and enters the pool hall. I say miner due to the style of his hardhat. We learn differently later. The newcomer takes off his overalls and starts putting his stick together. He and Grumpy stare at each other for a moment, until Grumpy realizes the man is waiting for him to pay.
Grumpy tells Sonny, “This is what I get for betting on my own hometown ball team. I ought to have better sense.”
“Wouldn’t hurt if you had a better hometown,” add the handsome stranger acidly.
The sweeping boy walks out the door. Grumpy tells Sonny, “Don’t let Billy get too far away. Would you, son?”
Sonny finds Billy, sweeping in the middle of the street in front of the pool hall. A truck with several men stops beside them. Dwayne (Jeff Bridges) jumps from it, sporting one of those weird hardhats.
Dwayne and Sonny grab Billy and steer him and his broom back to the hall, playfully shoving him in and turning to go somewhere else. Grumpy comes out, and apparently knowing where they are heading, asks them to take change to Genevieve at the café. He pitches a bag of coins that Dwayne catches midair.
Sonny and Dwayne toss the bag of coins at each other as they move to their destination. In and out of the diner people are not happy about the outcome of last night’s match. Comments and narrow gazes follow the duo around town. They reach the café and sat together, counting coins to pay for their meal. It’s not enough for two, so Sonny says that he’s not that hungry. Perhaps to pay in kind, Dwayne offers to let him use the pickup first because it’s not fair that he gets the first use every Saturday. Sonny declines because he’s going to be busy at least until the second showing that night.
THE LAST PICTURE SHOW WILL KEEP ME THINKING SONNY AND DWAYNE ARE BROTHERS FOR ALMOST 45 MINUTES
Interestingly, Sonny and Billy (Sam Bottoms) are bothers in real life and because of their physical resemblance I thought they were brothers in the film. They are not, and we never truly know who Billy’s parents are if he even has any.
By the time Sonny finally arrives that night, the show has been on for so long that the lady handling the tickets and concession stand only charges him what I assume is half price.
As Sonny now enters the auditorium, a 17-year-old Elizabeth Taylor runs down the stairs to meet daddy in Father of the Bride (1950). He sits beside his girlfriend. You know that face when your significant other wants to say something directly, but you know they are going to be passive-aggressive instead. Yeah. That’s her face. “I decided you had a wreck,” she intones before starting to chew the gum Sonny just offered her. Our boy knows better than to engage and just takes her to the back row. They kiss, but Sonny keeps his eyes on the screen. I mean is effing Elizabeth Taylor.
Done kissing, girlfriend rests her head on his shoulder and asks, “Guess what?” Sonny returns the “what” and she explains it’s their anniversary. At his blank look, she elaborates about being going steady for a year that night. Sonny’s response, “Really? Seems like a lot longer.”
Girlfriend’s annoyed Sonny didn’t get her a present, and in the middle of their little back and forth, Dwayne appears with Jacy (Cybill Shepard). Girlfriend comments on how it isn’t fair that those two always get the pickup first if the only thing they do is necking. By the furtive looks Sonny gives the other two, we know he wishes he was the one doing the necking with Jacy.
Elizabeth’s movie ends, and as the group exits the theater we learn grumpy’s name is Sam (Ben Johnson) as they say their goodbyes.
Sonny and girlfriend, now in possession of the pickup, go for their own alone time, and we get to see boobs, but things don’t end well. I cannot say that girlfriend is a tease, but her bitchness does not endear her to me.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THAT DEBACLE IS WHEN SONNY HANGS THE BRA FROM THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR.
Done with the weekend, we get a typical day of Sonny, Dwayne, and Jacy in school. During physical Ed, the coach asks Sonny to drive the wife to a doctor’s appointment the next day. Sonny readily agrees to skip some classes. Later, our trio stops for fries and shakes. Here we learn Jacy’s mama doesn’t approve of Dwayne. The mother also has a tense silent exchange with Abeline (Clu Gulager), the handsome miner from the beginning of the movie, finishing it with a flipping of da bird…
That night, Jacy’s father falls asleep on the couch and the mother goes for a talk with her. The problem is not Dwayne but that he’s poor, and she doesn’t want to see her daughter destitute. The father wasn’t rich when they married and the mother scared him into being rich. When Jacy says she could do the same, the mother snorts informing her she’s not scary enough for that. The subject of sex arises. Jacy is scandalized because doing it before marriage is a sin. The mother basically rolls her eyes and tells her to do it a couple of times to get it out of her system and see that there’s nothing magical about it.
“Remember, beautiful. Everything gets old if you do it often enough. If you wanna find out about monotony real quick, marry Dwayne,” warns the mother as she leaves Jacy’s bedroom.
Back in the living room, the mother makes a phone call. A man answers, and we recognize the name of the handsome miner when she asks him if he wants some company. He gives her the slip, saying has to check his well. She reacts by telling him to go drill hard in the same way you might tell someone to go to Hell. So he ain’t a miner but an oil driller. Same difference. And it’s clear that oil is not the only thing getting drilled here. Wink wink.
THERE’S ALWAYS AN UNDERLYING SEXUAL TENSION IN THE LAST PICTURE SHOW, ESPECIALLY IN PLACES WHERE IT SHOULDN’T EVEN BE AN OPTION.
And because it’s constant you don’t even notice it if you’re watching the movie casually. It’s when you go back that you recognize all the signs.
Sonny takes Coach’s wife, Ruth (Cloris Leachman) to the doctor. The man didn’t even tell her someone else was driving her there. On the way back, Ruth cries. Sonny doesn’t know what to do with her. She invites him for a soda, explaining she could use a few more minutes of company. As he drinks his Doctor Pepper, she cries even more desolate than before.
Done with her ugly cry, Ruth tells Sonny he can leave. “I guess you’ll be glad when basketball season is over,” Sonny offers. Ruth stares at him in confusion. “Well, Coach probably don’t get to stay home much during football and basketball season.”
Ruth’s face is priceless when she says, “My god. you don’t know a thing about it, do you?”
As I said: something underlies everything always.
GIRLS WILL BE (LIKE) BOYS
Jump to the town Christmas shindig. One of the rich dudes in town (an insanely young Randy Quaid) invites Jacy to the swimming party another rich townie has later. She tells him that Dwayne is not going to like her going to that party— but still encourages him to not leave without her.
Handsome Abilene arrives hand in hand with a pretty woman, only to have Jacy’s mom, who happens to be the wife of Abilene’s boss, kiss him on the lips as greeting. The woman says she ought to slap Boss Wife. Boss Wife doesn’t give a fukken drunk reindeer and tows Abilene to the dance floor. Bet that eggnog is laced with moonshine.
Dwayne and Jacy dance. She keeps staring at Rich Dude and even mouths, “Wait for me outside.” Boss watches Abilene and his wife dance while he talks “oil” with other men. Coach plays dominoes. Ruth looks lost by herself in a different part of the place as if wondering why she’s even there. Sonny and his father have a very awkward exchange. It’s clearly implied that they don’t see each other much.
Suddenly, Jacy asks Dwayne to go outside. He agrees because he has something for her. He saved for 6 months to buy her a wristwatch. She loves the little thing but is sad her mom is forcing her to go to a pool party because some rich kid went and talked to her. Strategically, Jacy positions Dwayne’s hand between her legs, and the tension mounts as we calculate his progression along her thigh. Just when he’s about the reach his goal, she reluctantly dashes to that awful party. He gazes after her— in obvious need of adjusting his trousers.
AFTER HOW THE LAST PICTURE SHOW HAS BEHAVED SINCE THE BEGINNING WE KNOW HE DOESN’T SMELL HIS FINGER BECAUSE THE FEAT WASN’T ACCOMPLISHED.
Dwayne sees the usurper and lunges from the pickup to thrash him. Jacy sits in Dude’s car, eating a cookie and watching the events unfold with interest. Nothing like two males fighting for a female to get her engine crank, ain’t it? Local adults intervene. Jacy and Dude speed to their party. Defeated before the fight started, Dwayne goes for a drink.
Meanwhile, Ruth enlists Sonny to help her with some trash. As they clean, she asks about girlfriends. Sonny comments on his break up a couple of months earlier. He concludes the whole thing was never that good because they didn’t like each other much. It was a thing of convenience for both.
They go to dump the mess. They kiss by the trashcan. As symbolism goes, this ain’t nothing but on the nose.
Did I forget to mention that the pool party is a naked pool party? There’s a bunch of rich young people in da buff. Jacy tries not to stare at all the ding dongs on display. First-timers need to undress on the plank for everyone to watch; that’s the only way to join the club. So onto the plank, Jacy goes, probably remembering her mama’s words and ready to apply them. I never knew garter belts could be worn inside the panties. Wonders never cease.
CRUISING FOR A BRUISING
In Spanish, we have a very interesting saying Pueblo Chico Infierno Grande. The literal translation is a small town big hell. I don’t think that needs much clarification.
AND THE FICTIONAL TEXAS TOWN IN THE LAST PICTURE SHOW IS EXACTLY THAT: A LITTLE PLACE BURNING WITH BIG ASS FLAMES.
Love Flames. Hate Flames. Envy Flames. Lust Flames. And all kinds of flames in between. Everybody knows everybody’s business. They don’t talk about it, but they know. And they judge you.
For some movie reason, the town boys decide to help Billy lose his virginity. Yeah, sweet, simple sweeping boy. They pool resources to take him to the cheapest lay in town. On second viewing you realize her name has been mentioned before, but in such an unobtrusive way that you barely register it.
The scene is depressing in its unnecessary crudeness; not because we see anything, but because we feel Sonny’s discomfort as the others cheer. He was never on board with the situation unfolding in the back of that car.
Poor Billy makes a mess, and the annoyed woman breaks his nose. The group takes him to Sam’s pool hall. Grumpy gets grumpier when he sees the bloody nose, banning the group from the pool hall, the café, and the picture show too. Since Dwayne didn’t get out of the car to deliver Billy, he hides to avoid eviction from all the entertainment in town.
Sonny and Ruth begin a sexual relationship. And I’m all for it. If men can have their May-December flings, it should be both ways. Wait, she’s supposed to be 40 and he’s 17; ain’t that more like January-September? Also, 17 is the age of consent in Texas before any keyboard warriors reading this want to get their hackles up. I just hope my NSA watcher doesn’t think I’m some kind of perv for googling “age of consent in Texas.” It’s for a review, Agent Schmidt! Nothing untoward is happening here!
We never learn what afflicts Ruth. I have the feeling she’s dying and that’s part of what makes her go for it. They are awkward and endearing, and I’m rooting for them. Just remember that trash can.
TIME PASSES AS IT DOES IN MOVIES, BUT YOU NEVER QUITE GET THE TIME FRAME OF THE LAST PICTURE SHOW. SOMETIMES IT’S COLD, OTHERS HOT, BUT IT IS ALWAYS DUSTY.
Remember Genevieve from the diner? It doesn’t matter if you do or not. She doesn’t give a crap about the ban and offers Sonny a burger. While he waits, Grumpy and Billy show up. Billy runs to his friend, and Sonny turns Billy’s baseball hat backward. It is something he does throughout the movie and it breaks my heart every single time. In his own grumpy way, Sam forgives Sonny, and Billy gets to have his buddy again.
On the rich side of town, Jacy is hanging out with the pool club. She’s stuck with Quaid apparently because he brought her to the fold. Nevertheless, she’s the cutest girl in town so more than one set of eyes is trained in on her. The owner of the house where they hang out asks her if she’s a virgin. She says, “I guess.” His response echoes the late world-known soccer player Pele, “Too bad. Come see me when you’re not.” The guy is the hottest of the bunch, so Jacy is now a woman with a mission.
Aggravated by his girlfriend’s absence, Dwayne convinces Sonny to drive down to Mexico for the weekend. They have barely enough money to have a good time; still, anything is better than their dead town. On their way out, they stop by the pool hall and invite Grumpy McGrumperson to join them. Sam cheerfully declines. He’s too old now for such escapades, but he even contributes to the boys’ trip with some money. It’s the last time Sonny and Dwayne see Sam alive. Everything will change when our heroes return from Mexico.
TAKE THEM TO MISSOURI, MATT
All the undercurrents weaving through Anarene, Texas keep the viewers on their toes. A single look can signal pleasure or pain. Here, silence does not speak but truly screams louder than words. The lines between what’s considered right and wrong can shift easily, depending on the perpetrator.
The one thing not explored, probably because of the time when the film was made, is the interactions between the preacher’s son and his bully. Perhaps it’s my gay ass seeing things. Still, every bully bullies for a reason.
A feeling of impending doom permeates the story as soon as it begins. From the slow boy sweeping in the middle of the street in its first minutes to the beaten pickup truck taking Sonny to his tragic lover in its last.
The others leave; our main character remains. Not because he needs to stay but because in the end he’s too broken to even try. The dirt you see flowing around and covering everything with its grimy layers is not just outside, messing with your eyes.
IN THE LAST PICTURE SHOW, THE DIRT IS DEEP INSIDE, MESSING WITH YOUR SOUL.
This sensation that everybody does everything with an ulterior motive in mind surrounds you at every turn. Only two people seem to do anything without a secret agenda: Sonny and Sam— both equally tragic, despite their different ages and experiences.
Much can be said about this controversial study of human nature, so enthroned in a bygone era; yet current thanks to today’s society, where we know who’s doing what, but we keep it quiet until we can benefit from it.
COULD THE LAST PICTURE SHOW BE REMADE TODAY? FUKKEN FOOK NO. BETWEEN OLD PEOPLE PLAYING HIGH SCHOOLERS AND THE FRAGILE SENSIBILITIES OF THE AGE, IT’D BE DOOMED BEFORE CONCEPTION.
Fun Fact 1: Coca-Cola or some parent company (you know how that goes) owned the movie rights for a while and kept this movie on the shelf due to its constant mention of Doctor Pepper. Bad, soda monopoly. Bad.
Fun Fact 2: Anarene, Texas is a real town, although a ghost one, and the film was shot not far from the real location.
If you want to watch a movie with superb acting and deep and engaging characters, do not hesitate to give this jewel a try. I’m going to give it 9 out of 10 because it made me feel uncomfortable too many times. Also, I’m not a fan of country music and this has more songs than an actual musical.
The Last Picture Show is currently available on Amazon.
