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I didn’t watch the Super Bowl because … you know what? Fuck the super bowl. To quote the great Snoop Dogg, the NFL can “eat a big fat dick.” A Traumatic Brain Injury denial, paying cheerleaders less than minimum wage, strong-arming that dude that has the only copy of Superbowl I … fucking Jim McMahon dick. No question, the NFL is up on some bullshit.
I did, however, watch the halftime show. Mostly because the potential schadenfreude of watching Beyonce expose Coldplay as the old, boring, useless, U2 wannabees they are was just too delectable to pass up. And on that front, Bey delivered. Big time. She even managed to piss off racist conservative, and Skeletor impersonator, Rudy Guliani, in the process. And yes, I know it’s redundant to say “racist conservative” these days, but the only thing more satisfying than typing it, is printing it somewhere! Try it sometime. I promise, you’ll love it!
Beyonce & Bruno Mars – Formation Super Bowl 2016 Halftime Show from Na Li on Vimeo.
In any case, when the conservative illuminati kicks into full-on bullshit mode by saying you “attacked” police officers for dancing with a bunch of women in a black panthers outfits, it’s pretty much means you’re doing everything right. So Beyonce did good. Very good, indeed. Thank you. And may I please have another, Mrs. Carter?
Then there is also the matter of her new song, which she performed at the Superbowl. It’s so mighty I struggle to put into words how good it is. It’s a rare banger that seamlessly hops, skips, and jumps from addressing injustice not just in the black community but also in love–it also has a part where she sings, “When he fucks me good I take his ass to Red Lobster,” and all I want in the whole wide world is a woman in my life with exactly that philosophy. Anyway, if you haven’t seen the video, it’s below, and you should watch it immediately. It slays.
What does any of this have to do with Kanye? Well a lot, actually. Consider this: Kanye West made headlines this week, too. But unlike Beyonce, he didn’t raise awareness of the black lives matter movement, the crisis in Flint, or the (still !) ongoing struggle in the wake of Katrina. Instead, he made waves (pun intended) for twatting, “Bill Cosby Innocent !!!!!!!!!!” on his Twitter feed.
The response on the internet was swift, and frankly, exasperated. One popular music blog, Stereogum, responded to the tweet with pitch-perfect perplexity. The author, Peter Helman, offered no explanation, no commentary, just a picture of Kanye’s tweet and a single word that perfectly summed up what everyone was thinking:
The question on everyone’s mind, then, is this: What the fuck is Kanye doing? By his own account (and his Twitter feed) it seems like Kanye has not only been tweaking the final touches on his album over the past few weeks, but as recently as yesterday, he seems to have been laying down vocal tracks, changing the order of the songs, and even changing the name of the album itself. I mean, don’t get me wrong, whatever! He’s the artist. He get’s to do it however the hell he wants. But something about this record seems rushed and slapped together to me.
I hope I’m wrong. I suppose we’ll find out in a couple of hours when he unleashes The Life Of Pablo–or whatever he decides to call it. I gotta admit, even though the rollout has been a complete shitshow, I can’t wait to hear it. Ultimately, I believe in Kanye, I think he’s the most important musician of the 21st century, by far, even if he occasionally acts like a dipshit–Lord knows we can all do that sometimes. I just hope he isn’t losing his goddamned mind.